


Macarena

by otomiyatickles



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Dancing Deadpool, Deadpool being Deadpool, Flirting, Flirting Deadpool, M/M, Poolossus, Size Difference, Teasing, Tickling, punishment tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 20:23:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16772257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otomiyatickles/pseuds/otomiyatickles
Summary: (taking place after 2nd movie) Wade is just out on some annoy-Colossus-to-death fun, without realizing how it could possibly lead to his own death. And now, what could be considered death if he wasn’t even able to die? Let’s find out.





	Macarena

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to [otomiya-tickles.tumblr.com](http://otomiya-tickles.tumblr.com/) \- 22/5/'18.

“Come on guys! Let’s bring some music into this dead house!” Wade turned on his music player on his phone and began to shake his hips. 

Let’s just ignore the fact that there wasn’t really anyone but him and Colossus right here, so of course he had to do _something_ to lift the mood.  


“Wade.” Colossus souned so done with his shit already. The metal man sat bent over at his desk, going over a pile of paperwork and had commanded Wade to do the same. Alas he was in no such mood, and would not ever be. He was all Deadpool-suited up, taking care of some music and trying to get Colossus in some happy mood as well.   


I mean, how often did he end up alone with his big shiny friend? Something fun had to come out of this, at least. Dancing was high on the wishlist.

“Just dance along! You already said _fuck_ for me didn’t you? What kinda super hero does that, and won’t shake his hips to some music? Shake that shiny booty!” He turned up the volume, but Colossus just sighed and raised his head. Their eyes met. He did not look happy.  


“Right.” Wade looked at his phone and switched to another song.  


“Another song then?” House. Pop. Country. Teletubbies theme. It was pretty funny to just see Colossus’ annoyance level-bar raise with each extra tune he played, and Wade was just loving this. 

“What about -- _OH_. I know.” He suddenly caught sight of a song and the biggest grin appeared - under his mask - and he giggled like a child. Colossus’ face when La Macarena started playing was _priceless_.   


“Turn that off,” Colossus said, his voice low and calm, but if you’d just look very closely you could possibly see each imaginary vein twitch in annoyance.  


“ _Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena_ ~ Dance with me man!” Wade began to carefully dance out of the way when Colossus slowly stood up from his desk and headed his way. Uh oh. Movement, people! This song’s doing it!   


“ _Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría cosa buen_ a.” Dancy Deadpool shook his hips sexily and performed every simple dance move.   


“I am warning you,” Colossus said. Someone did not like the Macarena. Wade snickered and Macarena’ed out of here.  


“ _Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena_. Whaaat? Will you go all Juggernaut on me and tear my legs off? _Heeeeyyyy Macarena!_ Haha! I’d like to see you try,” Wade challenged Mr. fussymetal as he began to stomp after him. Oooohh. Metalhead triggered!

He danced his way through the big abandoned house, and just managed to slip out of some possible veeery potentially deadly strangling as Colossus only just missed him closely when he tried to snatch him with his arm, and he made his way up the stairs. La Macarena juuust continued.  


“Oh! Is this your room?” He danced towards what looked like Colossus’ neat and tidy bedroom, and judging from the angry grunt behind him it definitely was.  


“Wade,” the angry voice behind him sent shivers all the way through his core and Wade giggled sheepishly. Oh the adrenaline. Angering Colossus would never fail to make him happy.   


“Well if you won’t dance, just say my name again. I like it when you do tha --” Oof. He was suddenly lying on top of Colossus’ bed with a huge metal weight on top of him.  


“Geez man! C-calm it with the burgers!” he huffed, referring to the enormous heavy weight, and he waved his hand with the phone in it through the air in order to avoid Colossus’ grabby hand. La Macarena continued playing nevertheless and with one subtle swipe of his thumb, he even got to turn the volume up a notch.  


“ _Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena, heeeyyy MacarenAAHH!”_ That last bit was unscripted and that shriek may have damaged your ears, as it did to his own ears as well. 

_“Tha- that tickles!”_ he cried foolishly, curling up around his phone to continue protecting it. Colossus blinked his eyes and stared at him. 

YES, Wade knew it was stupid. All Colossus had done was accidentally graze his armpit and ribs as he tried to reach for the phone, so he had just kindly warned him. Of course metal peeps wouldn’t understand that human flesh could be _sensitive_. 

Colossus gave a nod, which Wade did not understand, and the enormous weight moved partially off him for a moment.

“I’m giving you one chance to turn that off,” he commanded. Wade was still snickering in embarrassment and looked up at him.  


“Or what?” Suicide that was. Suddenly Colossus used his strength for forbidden actions as he grabbed Wade’s arm and pinned it to the side. He didn’t even try to reach for the phone. No, he _tickled_ him. Seriously? Can you believe that? He definitely couldn’t.   


“EHYa! THAha- no that’s _cheating_! STaHap!” Wade flailed and kicked. This was definitely unfair alright. He kicked and punched, thrashed and bucked but Colossus wasn’t even budging.  


“Hmh. That is one very ticklish Deadpool,” Colossus observed aloud. Ticklish Deadpool _blushed_. Why did that sound like a compliment, the way he said it? This man had no mean bone in his metal body - apart from the fact that he was FUCKING tickling Wade to death here and he could definitely swear breathing was becoming a luxury here.

“Will you turn off that music?” Colossus asked calmly. He could easily grab his phone and do it himself, no, the beast chose to tickle him and keep tickling him, and Wade was _choking_ here.   


“HAHA-- gohoho to f-fucking hehehll!” he laughed. Colossus shook his head.  


“Language!” He pushed Wade onto his side and began to claw at his sides and tummy. Wade uncurled and began to flop around and shrieked, sounding much like Weasel bumping his toe.   


“GAHa-fucking dahahammnit! Stahahap!” Define torture. Define fucking torture, well this was _torture_. For a superhero he was being quite helpless here. 

Odds were against him as he was pinned underneath a huge metalman and suffering from ticklishness he had forgotten its existence of. 

Vanessa only ever so rarely tickled him because they both agreed he was not that attractive when he was laughing this hysterically. Whereas this big baby here seemed to enjoy his predicament big time.  


“GEEHaha! Not thehere I s-swear to f-fu-- ohnotthere!” he was rambling, laughing, it was hard to make himself understandable here. Colossus had reached his upper ribs and armpits and was not going easy on him.   


“You sure are laughing a lot,” Colossus said. Yes, he was. Even with La Macarena continuing to play, his laughter was booming through the house, out of the window, everywhere. Wade seriously felt like blushing and was thankful for the mask covering his face. 

Still, despite all that, he’d rather die from tickling or be torn in half again ( _much_ rather than the first thing) than surrender. 

“There. Will you quit acting like a kid?” Colossus asked as he finally gave Wade a break to breathe - after what seemed like a long deadly while of tickling. 

Wade desperately gasped for breath, and he pressed his phone against his heaving chest. He then looked up tiredly at the biggest tickle monster of the universe and glared.

“Says the one playing ickly tickly _games_ like little kid,” he retaliated. For some extra bad points he increased the sound volume to a max and suffered the consequences for provoking Colossus even more. 

“SHAh-Shihihiiit! Fuhuuuuck!” At this point Colossus wasn’t even correcting his language anymore, having given up on that. Kind of like how Wade had surrendered himself to this ambush here. 

He just raised his arms and arched his back, accepting the fact that Colossus was wrecking him with tickles and that there was nothing he could do about it -- well technically he could, if that was even possible at this point. 

La Macarena almost finished playing anyway, so he just lay here, tears leaking onto his mask and his face growing damp from the mixture of said tears and drool plus some gracious sweat. 

“Ahahalright I’m dohohone! Hhahave it your way!” The last few remaining seconds of the song weren’t worth it, but Colossus was unstoppable. Wade never knew that having his hips and thighs tickled could feel this bad, but here he was.

And with bad he meant, it kind of felt not so bad, but very bad. Get it? Probably not. Never mind. 

“I am having it my way,” Colossus replied. He firmly dug his fingers into Wade’s precious thighs and made him squeal.   


“ _AHHah_! I HAhate you!” If he’d just be a liiittle bit more firmer it’d almost be a massage. Missed chance. Wade felt his entire body burn and ache from this whole struggle, even his throat was burning from all that laughter he had to endure. Not to even speak of that puddle of sweat beneath his mask and under his entire suit in general.   


Who would’ve thought this felt like a worse workout than every single battle he fought? La Macarena ended by this time, but the tickle torture did not, and listening to his own hysterical laughter was definitely not a favorite thing. 

“I c-cahahan’t _breathe_!” he laughed when Colossus was busy scratching his tummy as if he were his pet dog, making him giggle and squeal like Yukio would.   


“I gave you a chance and you did not take it. Thus suffer the consequences.” Colossus was definitely scariest talking down on someone while tickling them to death. Ladies and Gentlemen, don’t be like Deadpool. Don’t commit suicide like that. It’s not worth it.  


“What in the world.” Both Colossus and Wade froze and gaped at the door where Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Yukio were standing. Ha! Speak of the devil.  


“Please let me just unsee that. I mean. _Unhear_.” Negasonic looked disgusted. Yukio leaned more into the doorway from behind her and waved.

“Hi Wade!” she said. Wade lifted a very tired hand, took off his mask for some fresh breaths and waved back.

“H-hi Yukio!” he chirped. Colossus calmly climbed off Wade and nodded at the girls. For a moment Wade thought they were done here, but then Colossus closed the door.

“Please, excuse us for a moment.” Ohohoooo! Was he going to kiss him as an apology for that horrible and unfair torture just now? Some naughty naughty metal kisses? Or maybe a Macarena dance off after all? 

Colossus moved back to the bed, and Wade froze when he looked quite... dark and threatening. Not what anyone would look like before a kissykiss or a Macarena dance. How naive of him.   


“I never said we were done here,” Colossus said, and Wade could only scream and _try_ to leap away before he ended up back down pinned on that damn bed and getting tickled to damn tears. Yes, again. More. 

“THis r-reheheally isn’t fahahair anymooore!” he cried. Oh this shiny man here really _hated_ the Macarena, or so it seemed. And now he did too. Fuck the Macarena. And fuck Colossus. Definitely fuck Colossus. 

.

..

.....

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  


**Author's Note:**

> Had to write this after I saw Deadpool 2 this year *screams*
> 
> ♥ Deadpool groping Colossus’s butt.  
> ♥ “Please… Please stop cheating on me.”*puts hand on chest.*  
> ♥ Deadpool’s apology music while stubborn Colossus sulks in his room.  
> ♥ Colossus lifting him and holding him in that romaaantic moment hahaha.  
> ♥ Ness telling Wade: don’t fuck Colossus and he goes like wha -? Approved.


End file.
